Last night and today I was convicted to the core. I fessed up to Michael about spending too much time on the computer lately, at the expense of time with Edward and Genevieve and getting household chores and other responsibilities done. I have had this problem before. Then we had Bible Study this morning and I realized it all connected. We watched the intro video and the Session 1 video today. Beth said that anytime we have an unidentified desire for something we can't pinpoint, we need to give it to God or else it will quickly become a longing for something SPECIFIC (for me: food, computer time, TV, etc) and is a stronghold waiting to happen. When it gets specific, any impulse could suddenly cause us to act even if yesterday we wouldn't have ever believed we would. Examples of this are hitting out of anger, binging on food, etc.

The remedy is:
1. Pouring out (confess desires, sins, and concerns to God),
2. Pouring in (when we feel empty, let God fill us with His Spirit), and
3. Pouring forth (allow ourselves to be used by God to minister to others - our true joy and satisfaction).

Such an awesome answer to prayer. I now recognize signs of feeling empty through the last several years even though if I'd been asked before, I would have said that I was very satisfied! I guess I have been doing a lot of "stuffing" with all kinds of temporary fillers...

Lord, make me desire to be filled with YOU more than anything in this world. You go over and above what I ever imagined I could have. I want to live in the Spirit for the rest of my life, no matter what it "costs" me. I know it costs far more to live any other way. So Lord, please help me recognize the signs and act on them right away. Do I feel safe enough to trust You with all my worries and sins? Do you have a few hours to listen to me list them? Help me start to purge myself of them over the next several days and then begin to have a more godly perspective of myself. I don't want to be full of myself. I want to forever be renewed by the Spirit, pouring Himself deep within my soul, into all the nooks and crannies, all the places I've kept You out of, all the spots I secretly have wanted to save for myself. Your plans for me dwarf my own feeble aspirations. Thank you Jesus for this study! You are definitely going to move some mountains with my mustard seed during this one!!!