I'm drawing a blank again today, Lord. I've been consumed with other things all weekend and today. Here's my devotional.

It is SOOOOO beautiful today, Father! What a magnificent day to show Your glory. What a wonderful rest from the cold and snow of the winter. My baby is naked and my boy is in shorts. My hubby is outside working on the porch and I'm enjoying the gentle breezes blowing in through the screen door. I want to go to sleep, Jesus, but my baby needs to sleep! Until then I get to talk to You!

SO what's been going on. Well, evidently enough that I feel I need to catch You up - even though I know You already know everything. My main concern is that I'm feeling exhausted. I would love to fully enjoy this weather, but a cold or allergies are giving me a headache, itchy face, and sneezy nose. Michael is exhausted, too, so I don't have an eager back-up. We probably ate out 1 too many times as well. I'm feeling sluggish with the warm house and body maladies, so dinner doesn't sound appealing. Had a very strange sequence of events and not feeling recharged like I normally do. Perhaps being at the party drained me more than I expected. It still takes a lot for me to interact with others. I would like to know how to occupy the middle ground - not being a wallflower, but not feeling pressured to be outgoing either. Sometimes I just like to sit and watch, not talking. When I am caught into a conversation, I find my mouth moving faster than my brain and saying things I don't need to say.

Oh Lord, why does the process of maturing seem so SLOW? There's always something to work on in my character, always something to learn, always a need to serve... Hmmm... I guess that when I feel this way, it's evidence that my outflow is exceeding my intake. An obvious reality when I consider how I always put off WBS homework until Monday and Tuesday nights and take a break from devotionals all weekend. Wednesday I start to wind down and then Friday night until Monday afternoon I'm coasting on fumes from Monday night through Wednesday morning. That's not a good pattern, Laura. I guess I'm consistent, but consistently not faithful is not a virtue!

So what do I do about this Lord? What would You have me do? Give me a nagging conviction to be more faithful throughout the week and now that I've typed this out maybe I'll be more willing to listen to it. Accountability is such a powerful factor - even if I know I will not be asked to give an update by anyone who reads this, just the notion that someone COULD is enough for me! Thank You for Your Word. Thank You that You are everything I need for this life and Your Agape is more than I could ask for. I love You. Help me show it.