"When there are disputes or differences of any sort between people, there are four possible results: estrangement, an armed truce, compromise, or reconciliation. The first of these is the reason for a good many divorces. The second accounts for many unhappy marriages. The third may seem the best that can be hoped for. The fourth is what Christians are called to, always. In marital disputes, or those between labor and management, an arbiter is sometimes called in, often after much wrangling and bitterness. An arbiter has absolute power to judge and decide.
There is another arbiter, too often forgotten. "Let Christ's peace be arbiter in your hearts; to this peace you were called" (Col 3:15 NEB).
Wouldn't it make an astonishing difference in our fellowship with one another if we would let that peace arbitrate, if we would remember the promised parting gift of Christ, "My peace I give you," and the command to live at peace with all?
But, we ask, how? How does it work? The context in Colossians shows us:
You are God's chosen race, his saints; he loves you, and you should be clothed in sincere compassion, in kindness and humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with one another; forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins. The Lord has forgiven you; now you must do the same. Over all these clothes, to keep them together and complete them, put on love. (Col 3:12-14 JB)
Are we willing to follow Him here? He will help us if we are. He will calm the troubled waters." Elisabeth Elliott

My devotional today was confusing, Lord. I wanted to agree, but the scripture kept popping into my head of Jesus saying, "Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?" Luke 12:14 And though the Holy Spirit is a peacemaker, Christ on earth came to "bring a sword" even in families, between believers and unbelievers. The scripture cited seems to indicate that believers are to reconcile with each other, making no mention of the unsaved among them. So then I did a search for the word "arbiter" in the bible and found this: "But as it now is, He [Christ] has acquired a [priestly] ministry which is as much superior and more excellent [than the old] as the covenant (the agreement) of which He is the Mediator (the Arbiter, Agent) is superior and more excellent, [because] it is enacted and rests upon more important (sublimer, higher, and nobler) promises." Hebrews 8:6 AMP. This talks about Jesus as the arbiter or mediator between US and GOD, not between people. And then the verse came to me: "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord." amazingly enough, Hebrews 12:14 (like Luke 12:14)... But then going back to the devotional, I realized she wasn't saying that Christ is the arbiter, but that his peace through LOVE would be. So OK, a long way around a good point. When the Spirit fills us with agape love, that love (which desires the best for the person/thing loved without thought for my needs) will give me the correct motive through which to conduct my relationship - in peace times and in dispute.

So why are You speaking to me about this, Father God? When will I use this? In the future? Have I already needed this and missed it? Whenever it is that You want me to use the wisdom found in those scriptures, please prick my heart with it. I am SO grateful for the Spirit bringing to mind so many scriptures during my thought processes! I'm amazed that so many are beginning to dwell in my heart already! PRAISE YOUR NAME! Especially since I don't consider myself to have even an adequate memory. I'm so grateful that You aren't forgetful, Lord, and that You dispatch Your Spirit to help me out! May I be a willing and loving servant to my family tonight. May my husband have a wonderful day and my children be blessed and happy. Lord You are so good.