"“Check the obvious first” can be a good principle for spiritual troubleshooting as well. Colossians 3:12-17 lists a dozen spiritual qualities that indicate a healthy soul. Prominent among them are compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love, and thankfulness.

Before criticizing our church or other Christian groups, we might ask the Lord to reveal our own shortcomings. Prior to ripping out the wires of relationships, we could check to see if patience and forgiveness are connected in our own heart.

It’s good to look inside our heart—to check the obvious first—even when it feels as if all our problems are caused by others. Our Daily Bread —David C. McCasland

I’ll check within my own heart first,
The obvious to see,
That faults I find in others
Are really faults in me. —D. De Haan"

Recently, we had a couple over for dinner. I had never met the husband, but I found myself making snap judgments about him after he would make statements that were disturbing to me. He was talking about his frustrations with church groups and I was thinking to myself that we can be part of the problem or part of the solution. Walking by the Spirit enables us to set an example that other Christians can follow. We are herd-ish creatures and it just takes one powerful personality to set the tone for those around them. If I am frustrated by those around me, the obvious answer why may be to look at myself and my influence.

The problem for responsible Christians is, then, not to judge those who seem to be having a negative impact on others. Sometimes I believe we have "chemistry" issues - we just don't mesh well with that particular person - and that may be an indication that we shouldn't continue to try to make a closer relationship with them. But ALWAYS it means that relating to the "troublemaker" is a challenge to overcome with agape. A friend and more experienced discussion leader told me once that there was always one "thorn" in her group who was difficult to deal with. It would be tempting to conclude that Satan was at work there, but she believed God did it and I agree. That person who makes things difficult, who brings out the worst feelings in you, and who is never easy to pray for or with, reminds me that I still have those worst feelings to bring out, that I'm not the one "leading" the group, that even though it's so tough to love them, GOD loves them just as much as He does me! Our pastor asked us if we judge people by how far they have to go or how far they've come. So I'll just assume that husband has come far and is going forward at a good pace. So then what's left to judge?

Lord, I know I've already confessed and repented of my actions and feelings, but I feel You want me to confess to him, too. Please orchestrate things so that there is a great opportunity to do so. My wise husband tells me I should apologize to the wife and she can relate what's necessary. Though it wasn't my place to judge and speak with that judgment, it isn't my place to seek him out to make amends in person, either. I thank You that You are working in that marriage and in each person to bring about Your divine plans in their hearts and home. I'm so sorry if I've caused stumbling blocks. I hate being a stumbling block for others and I pray that as You shape my character to be more like Your son, those blocks become smaller and rarer. I praise You for the encouragement we received at church this Sunday and how Your will for us is being slowly revealed. We are so excited for all You have in store, and pray to stay sensitive to Your Spirit and keep laying down our agendas for Yours. I love You Lord. Love those "unlovelies" through me. I cannot do it myself. Love me through those who see me as unlovely, too. Be the strongest influence in whatever circles I find myself in, making fruitful produce in my future relationships. I love You Lord. Fill me, mold me, use me.