OK, so You taught me a lesson yesterday. At least the first one I felt led to do, then discerned not to - You paved the way yesterday and it was VERY well received. So I guess I shouldn't give up on the other one either.

I am doing this against my will this morning, Lord. The spirit is NOT willing and the body is VERY weak. I feel like CRAP. I sure do hate being sick. I thank You that You allowed me to go this long before I got sick. It's good that Genevieve is done with hers, Michael is on his way to recovery, and Edward managed to dodge it. So, because I have a better understanding of You and how You work, I want to be open to what You're going to teach me through this illness. Is it just that it's POSSIBLE for me to obey even when I REALLY don't feel like it? I've been praising Edward for that very thing lately and I know it's important. Of UTMOST importance in my relationship with You.

Lord, I do praise You for this sickness, too. Whether it's because of what isn't happening (i.e. Job-like travesty), or because I know You can work all things (even a miserable cold) for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purposes. So I'm on the lookout, Lord. Where is the GOOD here?!? :)

So I was reading Your Word about sickness and came to the verse in James about being healed by prayer. And I remembered when I earnestly prayed to You to take a sickness away that I had this summer and how I learned that Your priority is to heal the spiritual sickness before You heal the physical. So I'm thinking that You are doing something like that now. I doubt that You want to just do a miracle of making my cold go away. But I think Your greater miracle will be to impart some wisdom to my stubborn self while in the midst of feeling crappy. Or to sustain my spirit instead of me moping around in self-pity like I usually do.

Lord, I do thank You for what You are doing right now. I'm still uneasy about this ABF launch, but I have no idea why, so I'm following my discerning husband and trusting that my dis-ease will calm down. If you give me a bit of insight before anything happens, I will do my best to use it wisely, according to Your plan. But my hedging in itself is not enough evidence to persuade Michael. I'm encouraged by the exchange with Sherri, and the possibility of a Life U class, and the slowly growing fellowship of ladies at church. I'm encouraged by Pastor Scott's email, by Newcomer's Class.

Now I've got to go. But I love You, Lord. I trust that You will do what You need to do. I pray I do what I need to do in response! Thanks again for uplifting and supporting me even though I started out in such a icky mood :).