From my devotional today:
Luke 7:36-50 "We could interpret this encounter to mean the more we sin, the more we’ll love Jesus. It seems to support depraved living as the key to deep loving. Not so! The woman’s deep love did not flow from deep sin. It flowed from deep forgiveness. The level of intimacy her repentance required plummeted her to a depth of love. The Pharisee was also a sinner, but he was blinded by pride and strangled by self-righteousness."
"Luke 7 invites us to dine at the table of contrast. We witness Christ in relation to two people, both equally loved by the One who sent His Son to dinner that night."
"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two women went up to the temple to pray. One a working mom and the other a stay at home mom [or substitute breastfeeder vs bottle feeder, homeschool vs public school, organized vs. free spirit, etc etc]. The stay at home mom stood up and prayed about herself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other moms—making the "wrong" choices—like this working mom. I'm home every day of the week and give all my time and energy to my family.'
"But the working mom stood at a distance. She would not even look up to heaven, but beat her breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I want to be a good mom!'
"I tell you that this woman, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts herself will be humbled, and she who humbles herself will be exalted.""
I honestly really don't feel that way about working women, but the concept still applies. Don't we do this with a LOT of things as women? We have to make decisions about what our family will and will not do, what side of the debates we align with, what we think God is calling us to. And instead of being secure in our choices and gracious to families (real or on TV) who make other choices, we are enticed to say in our hearts when they struggle "well, if she would have done what I did, then she wouldn't be in this mess!" Or to our husbands we say "I'm so glad we aren't like the Joneses - Jane never gives her kids a home-cooked meal because she works late. Aren't you blessed to have a wife who takes care of you and the kids so well?"
Where it really goes unchecked in my life is when I compare myself to a non-Christian family. Yes, it's good to recognize consequences of sinful behavior, but the minute I look down on them or make a disdainful comment about them, or find myself thinking "I'm so glad I'm a Christian" (rather than "I'm so glad I'm forgiven") I have exalted myself and become a Pharisee.
It's such a sickening thing to find pride in myself. If I'm ever tempted to self-exalt, I try to give God the glory instead. I also get tempted frequently to self-loathe. Another sneaky form of pride that exalts me as the Most Sinful Person in the room. I just need to recognize my real position - no higher or lower than I am. Loved dearly by my Savior, but in constant need of forgiveness.
Thank you, Father, that I'm very much like the mom next to me. We may look different and make different judgments about what's best for our families, but we are both just people trying to be Christ-like women, wives, and mothers. It's a tough life and we need Your perfect love to bond us together in grace and unity. Help me learn to be a good friend to those you put in my life, making the time and energy to do all the "each others" you have laid out in scripture. Expose pride in my mind for what it is and humble me to repentance. Thank you also for loving me so much, for giving me talents and gifts to share, for molding me into the kind of person people enjoy being around. Thank you for the affirmation of your pleasure when my deeds show a heart devoted to you. And thank you for the blessings you bestow generously!
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