"It is possible for the best years of our life, the best experiences, the best victories won, the best service rendered, to be swallowed up by times of failure, defeat, dishonor, uselessness in the kingdom. Some men's lives of rare promise and rare achievement have ended so. It is awful to think of, but it is true. Yet it is never necessary.

S. D. Gordon has said that the only assurance of safety against this tragedy is "fresh touch with God," daily, hourly. The blessed, fruitful, victorious experiences of yesterday are not only of no value to me today, but they will actually be eaten up or reversed by today's failures, unless they serve as incentives to still better, richer experiences today." Streams in the Desert

Amen, Lord. I can't ride my own coat-tails. I can't rest in past success. The Christian life isn't meant to be past tense. But reflection is good. I am reflecting a little more lately as the reality sets in that we're leaving in 2 short weeks. It's becoming more tangible. I'm wondering "is this the last time I will see you?" with everyone I meet. Michael and I have been talking about how we never got very close to anyone here. It wasn't that we tried not to. But with him out of town all the time and with me trying to adjust to this Christian life, being a wife and mother, getting introduced to the concept of healthy friendships... The Lord has had me on a crash course for the past 5 years and it's been a RIDE! But while I seem to get on and off with companions by my side through various situations, I haven't had a friendship compulsion at all. This seems odd to me. And yes, it's probably the 50th time I've blogged about it. But leaving people being on the forefront of my mind lately, it's an issue that keeps coming up.

I trust what You are doing here, Father. Even though I don't understand it. Since I don't have any nudgings of the conscience when I think of this, I'm inclined to think it wasn't through any sin that it came to be. Perhaps being the jealous God You are, You've been concerned that I would make a friend an idol, or wouldn't be able to handle it for some other reason. I know I have so many deficiencies as a person, Lord, but on rare occasions, I can sink into a pity party surrounding the thought "am I not good enough for a best friend?" And maybe the answer is "not right now, Laura, but I'm working on you!" And that would be OK. You should be my best friend anyway, and that will be enough so long as You want me with You only. I pray that when it is the time to receive the blessing of special friendship, I will think nothing but joyful thoughts with a thankful heart.

I am so encouraged by the closer friends that I do have. The ones I will make the effort to travel to see at least once a year. The ones that will go from monthly, to every other month, to twice a year emails like Amanda (but that is always a welcome sight in my inbox). The ones that come to visit me if they're in the area. The ones who we make special efforts to meet as a group. And even the ones who fade into oblivion. They have each made an impact on me and have touched my life. Lord, bless each one.

I thank You also, Lord for the ministering You're doing through this season as our Senior Pastor also prepares to leave for a sabbatical. The sermons have been a balm to my soul, strength to my bones, and a spring to my step. The farewell fellowship day made me clap for joy. I applaud You, Jesus! Well done! Now do something EXTRA AMAZING! I can't wait to see what You've got up Your sleeve! And I'm getting my clapping hands ready...