I can't imagine being the young parents of an infant and having to flee to this or that place because someone was trying to kill the baby. I also can't imagine being visited by God in a dream or being guided by a star. It strikes me that God didn't manifest Himself to these people necessarily because they were holy, but because they were part of a greater plan. Which reminds me that just because we have unrighteous people in government and surrounding us doesn't mean God's plans are thwarted. In class Sunday our teacher taught from 1 Timothy 2 and passed out slips of paper. Each piece had the name of a political leader that we were to take a couple minutes in class to pray together with our spouse for. First and foremost for their salvation, but also that their leadership be just and blessed by God. My leadership positions have definitely been blessed by God. Not through my perfect execution but because His strength was shown through my weakness. I was constantly aware of my inadequacy. And I want to pass that to my successors. Knowing that they are operating without some key roles will serve as a place marker for the Lord.

Where is the place marker for You in my life right now, Lord? Definitely in the house hunt. The waiting, the not knowing, the delayed gratification... Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. What can't I see right now? Which house is to be ours, what neighborhood will become our ministry, which church will be our new family, what Michael's job atmosphere and challenges will be, what lessons You have slated for us to learn and through what means will we learn them? Will it be the "easy" way or the hard way? Oh Father, have mercy on us and let it be the "easy" way. I keep surrendering to Your will, but my flesh keeps taking back the white flag. I keep meditating on the possibilities these houses have in store - the decorating schemes, the room set-ups, the ways You will have us use the space for Your kingdom purposes, how much money we will have to spend in the process... And that is displacing my prayers to You. What real use is it to dwell on things that might not be? Will my decision to paint my future kitchen orange or red really make a difference in the steps just in front of us? Yes, one could argue that it's fun to dream, and I should be "entitled" to that. But the difference between what is permissible and what is beneficial can be a gulf between me and You. When I think of what I give up in relationship with You to hang onto my permissible "rights" I am shamed.

You have spoken an unclear word (or maybe I have been half-listening) about submission to me today. Am I clinging to "every doorknob, tree limb, or mailbox to keep from going [Your] direction"? Gentleness (praotes) "prevails when I let go of every object of security, resist grabbing on to anything that would hold me back, and ride the wind [of God's will] wherever or however it takes me." Am I letting Your prevailing wind prevail over my will? Am I clinging to my paint samples, my MLS sheets, my Google maps, my realty websites, and my dreams of all the pretty houses for security when I should be clinging to You alone? Oh Lord, You know it's true. I know that I don't WANT to submit to You here, but I know completely and without reservation that I SHOULD. What You have prepared for me is better than what I would prepare for myself. I want to relax in Your plans and trust that You, Michael, and Jane have it all under control. I desperately want Michael to know that I respect him and submit to his leadership. Do I make you feel disrespected, too, Jesus? I'm sure I do. Why is it that submission to the very people I trust MOST so difficult? Is it pride? Thinking that I somehow could do a better job? How dumb!

Praise You, Lord. Praise Your Name forever. You are worthy beyond compare and You are Holy Holy Holy. Lord God Almighty. I have those powerful words running through my head in the tune that becomes a haunting background harmony in another contemporary Christian song - I think this one:

Spoken For
by MercyMe

Take this world from me
I don't need it anymore
I am finally free
My heart is spoken for

Oh and I praise you
Oh and I worship you...

[Chorus]
Covered by your love divine
Child of the risen Lord
To hear you say "This one's mine"
My heart is spoken for

Now I have a peace
I've never known before
I find myself complete
My heart is spoken for

Oh and I praise you
Oh and I worship you...

[Chorus]

By the power of the cross
You've taken what was lost
And made it fully yours
And I have been redeemed
By you that spoke to me
Now I am spoken for

[Chorus 2x]

Take this world from me
Don't need it anymore...

And then this amazing song:

How Deep The Father’s Love For Us

by Stuart Townsend

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
(REPEAT last two lines)

Copyright 1995, Kingsway’s Thankyou Music CCLI #74901

Praise You Father. What a beautiful voice You have. What a beautiful mouth to speak such eloquent words. Why should it amaze me so? You have penned a million sonnets inside the delicate bloom of a flower. I submit to You. Not just because I should, but because You are WORTHY, more than worthy. I lay my life upon the altar. I trust You to do what You need to do with me. The author of existence can be safely relied upon to do such a thing as this! Forgive me, Father, for ever doubting You. I am a fool. Make me a fool for You! I'll gladly look stupid to the world to be salt and light in a world of bland darkness. I love You so.