My Own Fault by Elisabeth Elliot

"Someone who is suffering as a result of his own foolishness or failure may read these words. These griefs are hard indeed to bear, for we feel we might easily have avoided them. We have no one to blame but ourselves, and there isn't much consolation there. Sometimes we imagine that we must bear this kind of trouble alone, but that is a mistake. The Lamb of God, slain for us, has borne all of our griefs and carried all of our sorrows, no matter what their origin. All grief and sorrow is the result of sin somewhere along the line, but Christ received them willingly. It is nothing but pride that keeps me from asking Him to help me to bear the troubles which are my own fault."

"Fill your mind with the thought that God is there. And once your mind is truly filled with that thought, when you experience difficulties it will be as easy as breathing for you to remember, "My heavenly Father knows all about this!" This will be no effort at all, but will be a natural thing for you when difficulties and uncertainties arise. Before you formed this concept of divine control so powerfully in your mind, you used to go from person to person seeking help, but now you go to God about it. Jesus is laying down the rules of conduct for those people who have His Spirit, and it works on the following principle: God is my Father, He loves me, and I will never think of anything that He will forget, so why should I worry?

Jesus said there are times when God cannot lift the darkness from you, but you should trust Him. At times God will appear like an unkind friend, but He is not; He will appear like an unnatural father, but He is not; He will appear like an unjust judge, but He is not. Keep the thought that the mind of God is behind all things strong and growing. Not even the smallest detail of life happens unless God’s will is behind it. Therefore, you can rest in perfect confidence in Him. Prayer is not only asking, but is an attitude of the mind which produces the atmosphere in which asking is perfectly natural. "Ask, and it will be given to you . . ." (Matthew 7:7)." My Utmost For His Highest

Lord, I deeply needed a word from You tonight. I was feeling the room getting dark and my heart shadowed. I have never felt to vividly that sin is crouching at my door like I have these past 2 days. I feel as if this is a defining moment. Will I return to trying to control things for myself, or will I continue trusting You? Will I worry about every minute detail of things I've said to people I love and all the implications of the surgery? Will I swell with pride as I read encouragements, or will I give the glory to the only One who deserves it? If I am being sifted, there are things to sift. And I want them OUT! I can be writing a testimony of Your greatness one second and the next be ready to bite my husband's head off. I have to keep apologizing for my sudden mood swings, but I'm so glad You keep humbling me to do so!

Father, I pray that these meds don't even start to tempt me to be addicted. I pray that my moodiness doesn't falsify my testimony! You know my heart is sincere when I give You praises! You know the depths the Spirit plunges and the emptiness You keep having to fill! Keep filling, Lord! Jesus, You have already claimed the victory for every battle I could face. All Your enemies are at Your feet - sin and oppressors. I ask You to keep up the fight and give me the weapons You wish to use through me! Weave Your Word so tightly into my heart that I cannot escape it! Make Your Word the very breath of my life. May I inhale You and exhale me. Over and Over and Over again. You have called me a warrior - strengthen and encourage me for war! I love You God of the Angel Armies! You are my Master and my Guard. I am surrounded behind and before and within You. Protect me!