"Our Lord’s teaching can be summed up in this: the relationship that He demands for us is an impossible one unless He has done a super-natural work in us. Jesus Christ demands that His disciple does not allow even the slightest trace of resentment in his heart when faced with tyranny and injustice. No amount of enthusiasm will ever stand up to the strain that Jesus Christ will put upon His servant. Only one thing will bear the strain, and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ Himself— a relationship that has been examined, purified, and tested until only one purpose remains and I can truly say, "I am here for God to send me where He will." Everything else may become blurred, but this relationship with Jesus Christ must never be.

The Sermon on the Mount is not some unattainable goal; it is a statement of what will happen in me when Jesus Christ has changed my nature by putting His own nature in me. Jesus Christ is the only One who can fulfill the Sermon on the Mount.

If we are to be disciples of Jesus, we must be made disciples supernaturally. And as long as we consciously maintain the determined purpose to be His disciples, we can be sure that we are not disciples. Jesus says, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you. . ." ( John 15:16 ). That is the way the grace of God begins. It is a constraint we can never escape; we can disobey it, but we can never start it or produce it ourselves. We are drawn to God by a work of His supernatural grace, and we can never trace back to find where the work began. Our Lord’s making of a disciple is supernatural. He does not build on any natural capacity of ours at all. God does not ask us to do the things that are naturally easy for us— He only asks us to do the things that we are perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come." My Utmost For His Highest

Wow, Father. That could not have been more directly spoken to me if You had slapped me in the face with it! Talk about answer to a dilemma I confessed to Michael last night. The truth is, right now, I DON'T want to obey You no matter the cost to me. I'm wanting to withdrawal into myself and be a hermit all weekend, but I know that's not what You want. It's too HARD to figure out Your will! The ideas that have come to my head - calling Ondra since her hubby will be gone this weekend, too, knocking on Cynthia's door, meeting April face to face, asking Tracy if she's interested in a bible study, proposing a mentor relationship with Karlie, spending time with my mother-in-law - all those things are NOT what I want to do. Even though I KNOW that every time I just get over it and act on something that seems like it's right, I am never disappointed! Heck - if I just make the first step, I may be rejected from all of them and then I CAN be a hermit, knowing that it was really OK with God. In the meantime, I opened communication barriers and let them know I was at least willing to spend time with them. I have been dry lately because I haven't been GIVING. And because I haven't been investing in other people around me like I know You want me to.

Do I believe that anything You call me to do, You will do it through me? Do I believe that whatever You ask of me will not end in my utter annihilation? Do I believe that You will bless me for putting aside my will for Yours? Do I believe that Your will is better than mine (better for me, my family, and others)? Well, then, what am I waiting for?

Lord, please cause me to see the open opportunities for this weekend as exciting possibilities! Help me discern when to do what. Use the words You want to use through me, cause my legs to start moving forward despite my hesitancy. Father, I CANNOT do what You ask! It is not in me. It is ONLY in You. I want to be a vessel that You use for Your glory, damning my own plans and preferences. Change my nature into that which Jesus preached about. I want my only purpose to be that You send me where You want me!

Oh, Father Lord God Almighty, You are great. You are most worthy to be praised. My heart could sing of Your praises because You are everything to me! Nothing I want is apart from You! Nothing I could ever need is outside Your perfect plan. You are orchestrating all things for Your divine purposes and I am so grateful to be a partner with You on these adventures! Lord, thank You for the miracle of changing my attitude - MUCH more difficult than any physical miracle. And yet You are not even slightly wearied at performing it. Your majesty and power reaches WAY beyond what I could ever imagine!

I love You.