I love our time together in the mornings, Lord, but I've been failing miserably at praying without ceasing. I know You still have a ton of work left to do on me, and prayer is one of the biggest components of Your lesson plan. So, as long as I'm hoping and trusting in You and Your timing, I will be thankful for the fact that since there's much room for growth, there's much opportunity to praise You and glorify You! I love how You take our weaknesses and make them into a powerful testimony of Your strengths!

“Peter . . . said to Jesus, ’But Lord, what about this man?’ Jesus said to him, ’. . . what is that to you? You follow Me’ —John 21:21-22

One of the hardest lessons to learn comes from our stubborn refusal to refrain from interfering in other people’s lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God’s plan for others. You see someone suffering and say, "He will not suffer, and I will make sure that he doesn’t." You put your hand right in front of God’s permissive will to stop it, and then God says, "What is that to you?" Is there stagnation in your spiritual life? Don’t allow it to continue, but get into God’s presence and find out the reason for it. You will possibly find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another— proposing things you had no right to propose, or advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another person, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit. Your part is to maintain the right relationship with God so that His discernment can come through you continually for the purpose of blessing someone else.

Most of us live only within the level of consciousness— consciously serving and consciously devoted to God. This shows immaturity and the fact that we’re not yet living the real Christian life. Maturity is produced in the life of a child of God on the unconscious level, until we become so totally surrendered to God that we are not even aware of being used by Him. When we are consciously aware of being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, we have yet another level to reach— a level where all awareness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is completely eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint— a saint is consciously dependent on God.” My Utmost For His Highest

Yes, awesome. I'd love to be on that level, Lord! I want to so involve myself in Your presence that it's FIRST nature to do as You do, say as You say, and wait as You wait. Though as I read that, I'm tempted to want to let a few other people know about this "new" insight!!! lol No, I will NOT think of all the particular people I would like to enlighten! Man! What a terrible pride monster I am sometimes!

Yet, I can continue to help people. But I think that when I'm concerned with being with You, those people will come to me or I will be led to them, and Your Spirit will speak through me. It will have nothing to do with ME at that time, and everything to do with YOU! I will be drawn, as I am now, to particular ministries and people. Will I still have to think about what to say/do? It's getting SO MUCH easier now, though! Compared to my years of cluelessness in social contexts, with a gracious example in Michael, and learning to focus on others instead of myself, and learning patience, and tact, I am MILES away from there! Glory to You, Lord!

So I guess what I'm asking is to show me the way. I know not what I'm doing minute to minute, and I want to depend on You more. But I would love to marry dependence with discipline. I've been staggering back and forth on that line for a few weeks now, blindly. Is there some book I can read? Some person I can talk to? Bring me a mentor, Lord! Whether in the form of a book or a local person.

Thanks for leading Michael to a mentor! How awesome! I keep forgetting that Michael is having a relationship with You that's totally separate from me - ha ha! I don't know what You are working on him in, what You're doing in his heart and head. But I know You're doing something cool!

OK, time to get going. But it's not over between us! Instead of closing out like I normally do, I'll just stop typing and continue with You privately.