I was wallowing in self-pity and helplessness this morning, on my knees in front of the beautiful sunrise, and very clearly, God told me "Live Like You Believe." It was in answer to my question: "I just keep sinning, piling sins on top of sins! I don't know what to do - what do I do?!?"

Romans 6 (Message), helps explain this to me:
"So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn't you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!" 1-3

"That means you must not give sin a vote in the way you conduct your lives. Don't give it the time of day. Don't even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time—remember, you've been raised from the dead!—into God's way of doing things. Sin can't tell you how to live. After all, you're not living under that old tyranny any longer. You're living in the freedom of God." 12-14

"now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master." 22-23

"Do not continue offering or yielding your bodily members [and faculties] to sin as instruments (tools) of wickedness. But offer and yield yourselves to God as though you have been raised from the dead to [perpetual] life, and your bodily members [and faculties] to God, presenting them as implements of righteousness." 13 (AMP)

I Have Decided
lyrics by Michael Card, sung by Amy Grant

I have decided,
I'm gonna live like a believer,
Turn my back on the deceiver,
I'm gonna live what I believe.
I have decided,
Being good is just a fable,
I just can't 'cause I'm not able.
I'm gonna leave it to the Lord.

There's a wealth of things that I profess,
I said that I believed,
But deep inside I never changed;
I guess I'd been deceived.
'Cause a voice inside kept telling me,
That I'd change by and by,
But the Spirit made it clear to me,
That kind of life's a lie.

I have decided,
I'm gonna live like a believer,
Turn my back on the deceiver,
I'm gonna live what I believe.
I have decided,
Being good is just a fable,
I just can't 'cause I'm not able.
I'm gonna leave it to the Lord.

So forget the game of being good,
And your self-righteous pain.
'Cause the only good inside your heart
Is the good that Jesus brings.
And when the world begins to see you change,
Don't expect them to applaud.
Just keep your eyes on Him and tell yourself,
I've become the work of God.

I have decided,
Being good is just a fable,
I just can't 'cause I'm not able.
I'm gonna leave it to the Lord.
I have decided,
I'm gonna live like a believer,
Turn my back on the deceiver,
I'm gonna live what I believe.

Lord, forgive me for doubting You. Living in defeat is showing how unbelieving I am. My attitude says I don't trust that You have already made me victorious! I am not part of that life of slavery anymore! I am a slave to righteousness which is the only true freedom that exists! As a recipient of Grace, I can do whatever I want as long as it pleases You, Lord! lol So I do believe You. Definitely. Now enable me to live like it, despite whatever feelings or temptations come up. Put the fire under my butt to keep coming back to You all day long. To stop reacting and start acting the way a victorious believer would - purposefully, prayerfully, powerfully.

Thank You in advance for answering that request, thank You for being with me, for filling me with Your Spirit, for allowing me second and third and fourth and forty-millionth chances. We will keep on walking together while You grow me up. I love You, my Redeemer, my Comforter, my Lord, my Abba.